28 lessons worth sharing and my take on them. prt2

This was originally a posy by @third_eye_thirst on Instagram but I think that these are better internalized if connected with some personal stories and as Instagram goes there is not much space so here I am.

5. Enhance all of your emotions, don’t ignore them, don’t mask them, embrace them — I can only speak as a CIS female when it comes to this and the way women are told and explained about OUR emotions is so twisted and messed up from general population and mass popular media. We are told we are overly emotional and we should try to “control it” and it’ll never matter what your depression to everyone your emotions are “too much”, “you are always overreacting” and this is never true. Your reactions are your reactions, your emotions are your emotions, and yes while it is healthy to learn how to control your emotions in a healthy manner and it is healthy to learn that only YOU have the power of your emotions and reactions. As a child growing up I was told to be tough and rough and not show much emotion, crying is for the weak and always be happy because others have it worse. I understand that this was just another cycle being perpetrated by the women in my family and some of the men, luckily I grew up reading and realizing that this is not a path for normal development. Through years of self-realization and education, still at 31, I am still learning about myself, my traumas, and how to better myself through it. I am still not perfect and I don’t pretend to be but I have had t learn that one thing is true. If you are expressing emotion and someone isn’t listening to you, if someone is not taking clear discretion with what is going on with you, you need to step away.

6. Traveling alone is better than with bad company — I would even count Life Journeys in this. Especially when taking hallucinogenics people tell you to surround yourself with people you trust, so why not do it for your everyday life, your creative life, your professional life, and even your romantic life? If someone is judging your ride if someone is critiquing the scenery if you chose it, and even if someone is dictating your destination but they are on the ride with you. Hit the brakes, and tell them to get off, they can take the bus or get their own ride. Sometimes being solo is the best decision you will make. I have had to be solo for a while and it was probably the best thing I did since it was when I realized a bunch of unhealthy things about myself. I was so focused on my partners that I never took the time to take care of myself and actually get to know myself. Just as I always started to get to know me and became an amazing person, someone would “fall in love” with me, pretend they liked who I was, and then proceeded to change every aspect of me and since I was NOT fully formed they were able to break me down to a husk of a person but I have been lucky enough to know when to step back up and step out of these situations that I had found myself in once it was too late. At the end of the day, I have had to learn to not keep letting on the same kind of people on my ride.

7. Unlearning is just as important as learning — This is a tough one that not many people either understand or even know at all. There are people that will always believe that that will never learn new tools to make their lives better and to a degree they are right, but this is only because they are looking at a finished reformed person and they are comparing themselves. I have had to look at finished reformed people and decided to ask myself, what do they know that I do not, and then where can I find that knowledge? I have then reverse-engineered the knowledge of these people and I am still slowly working my way to becoming my own version of a reformed self. If I kept comparing myself to people around me I would continue to say “why do I know have what they have?” “instead of what do they know that I don’t?” everyone gathers their life resources because of knowledge that they have gathered either by the experience of handed down tales and wisdom from someone that they looked up to. If you have never had someone to look up to or never had anyone you admired then you never want to be like anyone, so you’re just a fresh clean slate still waiting for the sort of intellectual nutrition that you have never had. I have noticed this breed angry, self-hating people. These people sadly and understandable hate themselves because they feel stupid and inadequate. It’s not their fault as a child, but once we hit adulthood, it is only up to us to focus our energy on where others failed us. We have double the work to do raise a broken inner child and praise the young adult that stares back from the mirror.

8. Own up to your own mistakes — Integrity: the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles; moral uprightness. This is a hard one if you are not raised with this virtue, it’s definitely one of those things that you have to learn the healthy points of it and unlearn the unhealthy habits of example: calling yourself out for your own mistakes AND LEARNING from them understanding why the mistake was wrong and practicing self-awareness is a great form of healthy owning up, now self-flagellation and self-humiliation and victimization because of a mistake this is behavior taught at a young age and needs to be addressed as an unhealthy coping mechanism to making mistakes, there is a step prior to stopping this and it’s becoming aware of self-perception. Ask oneself how does one sees themselves as a purpose in relation to the rest of our world and this will give you a hint to the unknown tools one may need that was not handed down and the tools needed to unlearn certain unhealthy coping mechanisms.

Thanks for reading, let me know what your views are!

My name is Maria G. Martinez, I am a certified SEO and freelance writer and chef working on making her passion and her hobbies work for her. If you would like to read more please hit that clap button and subscribe, I would LOVE to hear from you!

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